Although I am still the same girl deep inside, my life has changed dramatically. I am eternally grateful for the lessons, the hardships, and the heartbreaks that the years have brought. I have been at this practice of yoga since the late 1990's. The first decade was a little on and off, but it was always present. Initially, it was a way to stretch my body. Eventually, it was a way to reach a deeper place within myself where I knew all wisdom resided. I wanted answers to life, and I wanted truth. What I found was mySelf.
My practice would finally lead me to yoga teacher training in 2012. It was here that I learned the importance of building strength as well as flexibility. Starting out in this newfound commitment for me was challenging and a little scary. Would I ever “get there”? Did I have the stamina, the endurance to grow? I struggled a lot. There were many poses that were new to me, foreign in my body as well as in my mind. But I kept with it. I practiced, I rested, I listened. And guess what? I grew. I grew in my strength, my endurance, my knowledge of me.
I moved into a space of the observer, watching the change happen in my body, my heart, and my mind. I still have “so far to go," for the journey never ends.
I am, however, in awe of who I am and what I can achieve. I continually look forward to the more that is to come, while finally being content in the space I hold right now.
The most amazing, beautiful part of this practice is that the lessons we learn on the mat transfer to our lives off of it. While building strength, I had to sit in some very uncomfortable places, my muscles screaming. In my previous life, I would back off, run from the discomfort.
Now, I was learning to breathe, to sink deeper, and listen to what was being said inside. These lessons would eventually be tested in my life when I discovered my husband was in love with another woman.
That wasn’t even the worst of it: I couldn’t afford to leave home. Talk about an uncomfortable situation. I had no choice but to find that space inside of me, that strength that knew I could handle so much more than I could imagine. I again and officially became the observer. I watched the pain, I cried, I hurt, and I was grateful. It was time to move on.
Life had so much more that it wanted me to see and do.
I allowed all the torment to teach me, the pain to refine me. I knew that this time in my life was doing me a favor; moving me in the direction I always wanted to go.
I am no longer mad or bitter. I am joyful and grateful, giving thanks at every moment for this beautiful life. The immediate steps before me are clear; the future is still being created by my thoughts, words, and actions. I have no doubt it will be amazing. I say all this to say.. explore life, explore the possibilities, and for god’s sake (and your own).. Enjoy the Journey, no matter how painful or scary.
Love it all, live it fully, and be eternally and internally grateful.
Much love and peace,
Connie
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